http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6673549.stm

it seems they changed their mind, probably as a result of my angry and violent campaigning

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6653175.stm

some people might find that important or interesting. i'm a lazy vegetarian not a principled one so it doesn't actually really bother me but whatever :)

ashley louise ; take heart, sweetheart, or i will take it from you says:
also omg would you update your lj for once in your life
juan - hug it out, bitch says:
for crying out loud i talk to you for hours and you still want me to write on my lj
everything interesting in my life i've shared with you already today
all i would write about is how much im enjoying playing the new zelda, how awesome good charlotte lyrics are and how fed up i am of working the whole time
ashley louise ; take heart, sweetheart, or i will take it from you says:
ok good

DONE AND I MEAN DONE
some people are hard to please huh

the best days are the ones where you sit in the kitchen listening to shit like fall out boy and then go and get really happily drunk with your friends.

...days like today.

today it became summer, do you know how i could tell? two ways.
1) i had a whole 60 minutes of sleep stolen from me. motherfuckers. i cherish every SECOND of sleep so to lose an hour was a kick in the stones if ever i've had one.
2) i got out of work at 6pm and it was SUNNY. sunny like a sunday morning, or something. i walked skipped home down lothian road with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. so i did. at the time i was wearing a pretty horrible outfit- grey jeans, a lime green and brown jumper and a really gay grey and black scarf- but i was happy so that makes it all ok.

oh yeah there's a third way, too: i am really hyper today. and i am only ever happy in summer. once a year i decide i have S.A.D. and it's always the first day the sun actually shines and i realise just how grumpy i can get in winter.

i bought an item of girl's clothing today (the green and brown jumper) so i'm now OFFICIALLY a crossdresser. i mean, we all knew ages ago it'd turn out like this, but at least now it's official. i'm proud.

another reason for my happiness is... football. mon scotland (and israel), and all that.

ah, so happy. lot of things are going well at the moment. new friends, and loads of adventures to go on with them.

sup stalker

so!
i'm going to barcelona on monday. until thursday. and after being really nervous about shit like the language difference and getting lost because oh my god i'll be on my OWN, i am now actually really fucking excited. i know at least ONE person on my friends list has been to barcelona (-waves at jenny-) and i expect her and everyone else to get talking and tell me what things i simply must do in barcelona before i die.

SO IT'S TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN, HUH?
punks never told me. i've been running around like it was still 2006! don't i feel like an idiot!

actually no that was a lie. i knew it was 2007! haha! got you! i think it's safe to say without hyperbole that the first week or whatever of 2007 has been worse than any other first week of a year i've ever experienced*. this is because i have spent a lot of it VOMITING and SHIVERING and WITH A SORE HEAD. it seems every bastard i know has the flu and i'll be damned if i don't have it too. took two days off work this week and you all have NO IDEA how much trouble i'll be in tomorrow when i go back. ok so that was exaggerration, they know i was properly ill. they know this because they saw me on wednesday, when i turned up, told them i'd thrown up in the car park (true story!) and then went home again.

ok, i need to write something proper and legible on this thing here. i need to write about christmas and work and music. i have a list in my head of "JOHN'S FAVOURITE TUNES OF 2006!" but not the time, energy or motivation to write it. most of the music is lame anyway, you all know me, i don't like anything good.

so for now, instead of all that, i'm gonna go to bed! an original concept if ever there was one. g'night kids.

x

so, a fun week at home has only sixteen hours left. during those sixteen hours i might get quietly drunk on my own in a corner somewhere. don't get me wrong, i've had a lovely time, but i feel a week's holiday from work is wasted if i haven't induced liver failure by the end of it.

I GOT MY HAIR CUT. old school shortness, sort of. i still have a little mini emo fringe, because modern juan needs his flicky bits. all things considered, i'm confident that my hair is "bringing sexy back".

it's alarming how much time i spend writing about my hair on the internet.

new converse (from tk maxx! somehow the fact i'm buying nike products is made morally safer by the fact i got them massively discounted!) new fingerless gloves a new hat a new scarf and a new winter coat are the prizes from my trip home. all of them designed to make the next four months a little bit more toasty.

does anyone on my friends list watch entourage? talk to me about it. normally i like having my sekrit TV shows that nobody else watches because i can involve myself in them without worrying about whether i'm a great big loser, but for some reason i need to share entourage with people. NOTE: i haven't seen series 3 so don't spoil it, fools. i am going to be the scottish ari gold when i grow up. you should all start being nice(r) to me so i can sign you up and make you famous in ten years time.

i have another update in my head about the city of edinburgh, old friends and things moving on, but i'm saving it for the next time i'm drunk, so i can add salty tears to an already over-emotional batter.

time to watch scrubs.

last night:
i drank... not a lot of cider yet still lasted barely half an hour after leaving the house. and threw up. i'm not proud. might give that whole drinking thing a miss, for a while, until i can make things up with my liver, kidneys and stomach.

today:
i lay around the house in a football shirt playing various computer games and watching more awesome american TV than is good for my tired eyes. entourage is brilliant, the office: an american workplace is all the better for not having ricky gervais in it, and studio 60 is the best TV show since the west wing. also, grand theft auto: san andreas has me hooked all over again. i also messed around on livejournal a lot. all in all today felt like a very old-fashioned day-in-the-life-of-john. mayfield road-esque, only without shaggy fucking everything up by being annoying.

tomorrow:
i have to go to work at 12 noon, but i only have enough money for a one way busfare. uh-oh. i'll also go and see my grandma at some point, because she broke her arm, and i'm sad.

apologies to one and all for a pretty shitty lj-entry, but i feel all nostalgic and wanted to say hi.

if anyone on my friends list runs a pub, i have the following advice for you:

adding three tonnes of sand to the floor of your otherwise sensibly well-run establishment is NOT a good idea. the reason for this should be self-explanatory, but on the off-chance you can't figure it out for yourself, here's my take on things. three-tonnes of sand is not going to remove itself from your pub on its own! it's going to take considerable strength, time and energy before it finds itself outside! and your pub simply doesn't have enough staff!

as i typed that, i realised that it wasn't really dan (the manager of the pub in question) who was to blame. no, it was my fault. entirely my fault. for not arguing, not putting up a fight. i am guilty, because i shovelled handful after handful of sand into his big blue bins, and it took two hours. and my nails will taste of portobello for the next few weeks. and in return, i got a drink or two "on the house!" and a verbal kicking from elise, because... god knows why. she's a weirdo. a hot weirdo.

a lot of that won't make sense to me in the morning when i wake up and find sand in my hair.

last night i went to see "little miss sunshine" at the cameo. at the end of the film, the entire audience applauded. i've never seen that happen before. if it weren't for the fact i joined in, i'd probably've thought it rather cheesy. sort of like the idea of american airline passengers applauding their pilot after a routine runway landing. but no. the film was worthy of a few seconds of enthusiastic clapping. not enjoyed a film as much in rather a long time (no, not even snakes on a plane)

i'm having weird mood-swings today. was in a great mood until i got home to an empty flat, and now i'm just a bit bored.

i just want it on record somewhere, written down, that it sounds like my little brother is having an incredible time at college and i physically could not be happier. him and his new friends are drinking bottles of rum behind the cinema in inverness and, well, it's everything i wanted him to experience and more. why, he's even learning to ride a unicycle! yes, my brother will be the annoying flyerer on the royal mile in eleven months time. feel free to slap him... just not too hard.

i don't talk about my brother enough here, or anywhere in fact. he's amazing, and you would all like him a lot more than you like me. because he's TALENTED. and i'm just beautiful.

or so i'm told. (by people who shouldn't tell me)

i'm trying to decide whether a boring job where i work with cool people is better than a good job where i work with fools. right now i'm enjoying the former.

yesterday i bought CDs for the first time in what seems like ages. i got the best of the doors, which turns out to be more like the best of the doors only without riders on the storm and spanish caravan. so i downloaded those ones. i also bought the delgados - complete peel sessions. absolutely great, the delgados are the underrated band of our generation. i'm going to try and upload their cover of mr blue sky somewhere so you can all panic as your ears melt in awe.

incidentally: the last thing i searched for in google: "34DD". hah.

august ends without a single australian girl being won over by my obvious charms. this would be disappointing, if not for the fact i seem to have somehow found a pretty scottish girl instead. not that there aren't lots of pretty scottish girls, it's just when i find one who likes me too, it's cause for celebration.

i want to write a review of sorts, only not of a book or CD or film but of the actual month of august. the review will be witty and tell of my debauched 48 hour benders, flirting with BBC employees, and around £300 worth of live music and stand up comedy. highlights of the month include shouting "EAT YOUR FUDGE" at russell brand and having him shout it back at me, seeing muse for a fourth and possibly best-ever time, semi-stalking simon amstell and phil nicol, and, of course, my birthday.

every year, i spend the winter waiting for august, and the autumn recovering from it. of the twelve months in every year, the eighth is the one that actually matters.

hangovers feel just the same today as a 22 year old as they did last week when i was only 21. i am therefore confident that my body hasn't suddenly aged irreparably, rendering my drinking days a mere happy memory.

why, zz, why?

headline culled from a recent issue of the scotsman:



it speaks the truth.

as my bus took me past mcewan hall where a throng of be-gowned graduates celebrated winning at degrees my first thought was "HA! you have all wasted your lives! get ready to enter the same underpaid/overworked career cycle as me... only i sat less exams! fools!" but then my conscience kicked in; that's unfair. i'm sure these are lovely people who worked very hard and learned a lot, and their friends probably like them a lot. despite the change of heart i remain unflustered by my lack of a formal education. i can dine out on my looks alone for at least another ten years, and after that i'll sponge off a supermodel wife.

i saw "thank you for smoking" today. sam seaborn in a kimono! very good movie.

i'm sort of annoyed that my family all go on holiday to france this week but i'm stuck here til the middle of august, and even then i doubt i'll leave the country.

in other news, how handsome am i?